Lost Identity

by  D A Y     S I X

I am again back to work. It simply means I have a lot of time to browse the net again, as it is the best way for me and my reliever to spend the three quarters of our working time, or else we will get stoned bored. Anyway, i am done cleaning the pool and made the automatic coffee maker work, I went to my desk and get busy browsing some blogs.

I ran across this blog that I almost thought i was reading my own self. Funny! But he definitely gave me a lot of serious and funny idea/thoughts. He himself just like me made a blog to get his boyfriend's attention. He noticed that when he moved in to his bf's home that he spends so much time on the net, and how he giggles on cute notes, and how he sigh whenever he reads sad post of his blog friends, make a great appreciation on outstanding posts and sing on the tune that is being noted. So on he go to create his own blog.

But to his disappointment, his own boyfriend is not even reading his blog. Hahaha... That sucks! I know the feeling.. And then a lot of excuses and alibis from him of "why not" participating on his blog.

(pause reading that blog, need to walk the dog and while walking I told myself - Ah! I'm over that. I don't want to go back to that feeling again. It's crazy! You don't get the attention anyway, you just aggravate yourself.)

After an hour , I went back and read the blog, there you go, the writer told himself, enough is enough. Instead of writing his agony, complains and disappointments he started writing his poems, essays, and points about the news everyday. Wish I am as eloquent as he is to do it. But anyway, I have my own style. LOL! the best excuse i can have...

And he made it. Before he knew it, his boyfriend is already reading his blog not because of anything else but he, the bf, is becoming curious why he is getting preoccupied with his blog. Just to find out, it is becoming popular and viewers, followers, readers and commentaries are piling up every time he has his new post. His change on his blog made it wonderful. And that lead them to lost admiration with each other and finally separated... Tsk tsk!..

Recently I am starting to loose my admiration to this young fellow that use to be one of the inspirations I got when I am starting my blog. he is so good. his artistic ability is superb but recently I tried analyzing his blog, it is totally different. Now I know why Im feeling like that towards him. He is slowly loosing his identity. His posts, poems and music are no longer his. He is just putting together two or three works of his collaborators and post it on his blog. What a waste of talent. He used to be good. Now, you cannot even see his face on the pictures posted. I don't even know if he understand what is posted on his blog. I wished someone would be good enough to tell him - "I want the original him." the one i knew... I hope that his thousands of followers and reader including me would not realize that they are no longer watching or reading or commenting on his creations because they might be, just like me, lost admiration to him...

Now, huh! I don't care if nobody will read, leave a comment, or click the follow button on my blog. As long as it is me, my own, my original creation, who cares?

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lyrics for the song...

Wake up
Why are you here?
You don't need to answer
Where's your fear, your agony
The truth will be slowly unfold

What have I done
And why am I here
Curtains blinding the sun
Sleep while I'm walking and ache during talking
Disbelief and so afraid
Look in your eyes, your face, into your soul
The clock that's ticking on the wall
It makes me insane, remove them all

I'm leaving tomorrow
I'll break through the fence
And so much for this sorrow
Continue my plans again
Back to the world of ice

And who is that guy
He's acting so strange
Have you noticed he's shy?
He's hopelessly dying and constantly crying
But then again, why should I care
I must confess, his pain is way to strong
[So much for answers]
So much for answers, science falls
Help me break this chain, release them all

I'm leaving tomorrow
I'll break trough the fence
And so much for this sorrow
Continue my plans again
Back to the world of cold and ice again